Look At Me
About Sam Holness
"I am determined, not disabled". I learned to ride a bike when I was 14. I completed my first triathlon in 2016 and in early 2021, I completed two 70.3km ironman triathlons within two weeks of each other. I am an outstanding role model as an ambassador for Ambitious About Autism and try to encourage more neurodiverse individuals to engage in sport. Sport is a special interest of mine and I train hard to be the best, healthiest version of myself. I want to be the first professional black autistic triathlete and I share my training and progress on Instagram (@samholnesstri). I've been told my aspirations are inspirational. Look At Me, for I am Super Sam Holness and I want to be accepted for who I am.
About Eye Contact Issues
"Look at me" is often a phrase that can generate overwhelming anxiety, dread, and even pain for some autistic children, young people and adults trying to navigate a neurotypical world. The social expectation that eye contact is fundamental for meaningful interactions is flawed. Just because someone isn't looking at you doesn't mean they aren't listening to you and for the autistic individuals who find eye contact difficult, it's certainly not an act of deviance or defiance. For many autistic individuals, processing and engaging in conversation can be a challenge anyway, but can become impossible when the "right amount" of eye contact is expected or demanded.
About the Art
Sam is the only subject of this graphite portrait making eye contact. Only his eyes are multicoloured to hint at the rainbow inifinity symbol associated with autism and to compliment the sportswear in highlighting his achievements and aspirations as a black autistic triathlete. For Sam, autism is not a disability, it is his superpower. The neurotypical subjects featured behind him are not making eye contact and hint at the ratio of males diagnosed with autism worldwide. Although the only autistic male in this piece is Sam, I felt it was important to include differences in ethnicity and age to highlight that autism does not simply affect white male children, as it is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition.